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Dirty Laundry

This is either a great idea or a very public mistake, it may not be quite Falcon Heavy league but should create a spectacle either way. We air this dirty laundry here to show transparency in the hopes of inspiring your trust in caring for your furry family member(s) by letting you know how we treat the animals and handle any corrections we may face. We realize our rules maybe different from yours and honor your restrictions during your family members stay. We have a combined 70yrs of handling dogs, and have gotten pretty good at it, but pobody's nerfect so here we go.

We allow our dogs onto our bed. Yup, that's right. It happens to us every morning. It's like clockwork. It starts off kinda slow at first, usually an exaggerated yawn with a distinct upward inflection will sound off on one side of the bed that inspires a slow tail tap from the other side. If this slow clapping is ignored long enough it will eventually cascade into a full out parade around the bed complete with high stepping and tails banging bedposts. We've been hurt before by these activities so luckily now the dogs permit us a short period to protect vital organs before they expect an "O.K." Two letters. Two letters spoken in a quiet resignation is all it takes to launch 260 lbs. (sometimes more) of canine into the air only to have it come crashing down on top of us. If we're still conscious after the initial impact, defensive measures switch from protection of vital areas to monitoring and protecting Airway Breathing and Circulation as real estate value overshoots Mars Orbit and heads out to the asteroid belt. Luckily these Grave Before Shave beard oils are all natural - Thank you Janessa (Blackwood Barbershop).

Our dogs get table scraps. We do not follow the doctrine that dogs need a particular level of food processing else it be deemed unfit for dog consumption and relegated only to human consumption. We do not give the dogs food items that are harmful to them like onions, cherries, grapes, chocolate, apples (with seeds), and/or sharp bones. In order to prevent unwanted behaviors like begging or eyeballing us while we eat, we have created a strict routine that works really well for us. It works like this: 
Regardless of when scraps are created, they do not go to the dogs until after we finish our dinner and we do not eat our dinner until the dogs are laying down. Scraps are then portioned out evenly, serving size about the same size of a man's fist, and the dogs come for their plate when they are called. It's not meant to be a full meal just a supplement to replace some of the beneficial oils/nutrients cooked out of kibble at high temperatures. We do honor your requests not to give your canine family member human foods, but we may ask for a compromise as a meal together, if done right, it's a great way to help integrate your canine family member into the pack. A suitable compromise might be meat drippings on kibbles.

We make homemade treats or get soup bones instead of Jerky Treats or Chicken Jerky for dogs. Here's why; 

We have yelled even screamed at our dogs and we probably will again, but they never get hit. We do use touch in the form of a poke to get a dogs attention, but those actions are few and far between. Our dogs are pretty sensitive to our emotions and don't like getting us upset. Their submissiveness to us and with them providing an example means we don't or may not see any undesirable traits in your canine family member(s). 

We howl. We use howling to bring everyone together/excited before a run and just because we can. If your canine howls when you get him/her back home that was our fault. 

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